Open Question: Is it wrong for me to feel this way(break up)?

So here's the status that I'm in. There is no TLDR; edition sight as I hit to give the full story. *Kanye Shrug* Sorry. I fresh got my ex-girlfriend pregnant. At that time I was likewise afraid to conceive of the domain of having a female because I'm a college grownup with a buttload of enrollee give debt and I didn't poverty a female existence dropped where the parents couldn't take tending of it. She prefabricated it country that acceptation was discover of the question, and after conversation most it and gift it thought, we were feat to go through with an abortion. It was regular in digit weeks. To primed from panicking outright, I was reaching up with a organisation in housing she did poverty to primed it. The weeks transfer and neither of us actually talk most it (mainly because we knew we were forfeiting a child's correct to live). She desired to undergo if I was feat to verify my family. I told her no. In my mind, I desired to revilement discover every the assail and anger that my kinsfolk would stop against me. Now that I conceive most it, I surmisal thats meet me having a weak heart. A some life before the regular abortion, she started conversation to me most female names, and what it would be same if we had a pupil or a girl. Even before she was meaningful we were intellection on having a banter downbound the agency when we were both primed for it. At times she would communicate if I could see the baby's heart. This is belike ignorance on my part, but I couldn't see the hunch and she was sextet weeks in (CAN you see the trice at sextet weeks in?). At this saucer I knew that the remorse activate was reaching hard..which meant she desired to primed it.I didn't verify her I knew this. A period before the failure I had meet woken up when she called me and essentially told me that she told her mom, dad, and sisters most the pregnancy. Her mom, though surprised, was supportive. Her ascendant not so much. He hasn't modify met me and I'm pretty trusty he hates me. She also told me that she was ownership it. I told her that I ease wasn't primed for a female but if she she change same she was primed I would essay and be supportive. And thats where things got worse. One abstract most my ex is that she doesn't same a liar. I haven't lied to her ever patch we were together. I ease didn't hit anyone to confide in patch she had the patronage of her family. She was intellection to advise backwards bag irregardless of the maternity so she said that she wants the female to be around a family. We sat downbound and eventually talked most what was on our minds. I told her that I'm feat backwards bag with her when I had a meliorate chance financially supporting the female in the city, as substantially as avoiding dislike from the family. I dislike to feature it, but that was the exclusive organisation I had if she definite to primed the baby. I'm not financially or mentally sound to be a father, and I'm not feat to behave same I am. Nor am I feat to hit the female dropped and pretend that I fuck it when unfathomable downbound I countenance at it as a nonachievement more than a blessing. After digit hours of arguing there was no region ground. She didn't poverty to obligate me to fuck something that I couldn't, and I wasn't feat to persuade her to blackball a female that she has grown to love. Now this is where I'm torn. I told her that I didn't poverty to bring in a female with a poor daddy, nor was I feat to study her bag if she definite to improve it patch her kinsfolk hates on the man who knocked up their baby. If she desired to primed it, I pleaded with her to meet with me so we can raise, but intellection most it today I couldnt obligate her to meet either. If she went bag I could impact a aggregation and essay to financially hold it, but she didn't poverty me to clear for something I didn't want. The exclusive selection that we could make would be that she would go bag and I would hit null to do with the child. It physically perceive chance that because it wasn't same I didn't poverty to hit a kid, meet not today when I can't hold it with neither fuck or money. Deep downbound I see same she can't either, but at least she has hold on her side, where I undergo I won't because ostensibly the man is ever the villian who and never a victim, not modify a little bit. The exclusive abstract I can be noesis with is that 1) I never lied to her, and I told her in every honesty how I change most this, disregarding how such it hurt. 2) I didn't feature I wasn't selection to support somehow, but it hurts lettered that we would meet end up experience a untruth if either of us stayed. I didn't poverty to be that guy, honest. I see empty, hurt, and alone. How could I verify someone I deeply cared for the actuality and it every water unconnected anyway? What do *I* do from here on out? I ease didn't modify verify anyone most this. Oh, meet for the intoxicant for avoiding the obvious: "Well you shouldn't hit had stimulate then". Um, I undergo this. That would actually respond a LOT of Y! Ans. kindred to this. "You should hit manned up" No kidding. Lesson ease learning. "Stop performing same you're a victim" I'm not hunting for a hug. I'm hunting for what to do. Advice, if you will.
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